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Brain Circuits

Bossed around? Six ways to deal with difficult leaders

Published June 11, 2025 in Brain Circuits • 3 min read

Have you ever experienced behavior by a leader that defies conventional norms of engagement? Merete Wedell-Wedellsborg suggests strategies to handle bosses who dispense with widely accepted norms of civility, empathy, and ethical leadership.

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1. Play your part in the drama

First, understand that theatrics matter. All-powerful leaders often frame interactions as symbolic victories rather than substantive discussions. Don’t try to subvert the drama; play your part in it instead. Rather than challenging an omnipotent leader head-on, anchor your ideas as a natural plot in their vision and define yourself as a main character.

2. Shape the narrative early

Omnipotent leaders are supreme examples of what Daniel Kahneman calls ā€œprimingā€ – the first analysis, interpretation, or version of events often shapes how others perceive the issue. So, try to get in there first and shape the leader’s first impressions and baseline understanding. Remember: whoever speaks first may not own the stage, but they do set it.

3. Harness the power of ego

Frame feedback to omnipotent leaders that aligns or complements their self-image and add new adornments to it – not with hollow compliments (flattery may yield short-term results but ultimately reinforces erratic behavior), but by reinforcing those grains of character that may support your cause.

4. Redirect the discussion

Having validated the great one’s leadership and identified legitimate strengths, subtly redirect discussions toward constructive outcomes.

5. Build rapport

You don’t need to like or agree with an individual to engage with them effectively. Instead, focus on creating a good enough rapport to work together. This means finding something that connects you both and avoiding confrontation.

6. Fight back – with back-up

The last resort is escalation and ā€œfull-fight modeā€. This strategy may feel good in the moment but rarely works. It should only be used if nothing else works – and is more effective if done in conjunction with other leaders. A well-timed escalation can signal to others that resistance is valid, encouraging them to step forward. When leaders see that opposition is organized, they may reconsider their stance to avoid losing credibility.

Key takeaways

In a world where all-powerful leaders set the tempo, the best response is not to resist or comply, but to navigate strategically and psychologically. Speed matters – shape the story before they do and build rapport by finding even small points of agreement. And, if escalation is inevitable, don’t do it alone!

Authors

Merete Wedell-Wedellsborg

Adjunct Professor at IMD

Merete Wedell-Wedellsborg is a clinical psychologist who specializes in organizational psychology. As an executive advisor, she has more than two decades of experience developing executive teams and leaders. She runs her own business psychology practice with industry-leading clients in Europe and the US in the financial, pharmaceutical, consumer products and defense sectors, as well as family offices. Merete is the author of the book Battle Mind: How to Navigate in Chaos and Perform Under Pressure.

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